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STAFF |
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el
Commandante
Editor
in Chief |
[FILE
REMOVED UNDER THE DIRECTION OF THE NSA] |
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Jonny
O
Propaganda
Control |
Jonny
O enjoys candlelight dinners, mood music, and huffing
ether. His superpowers include the ability to smell
the future and blacking out. |
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Jenny
Mistress
of Mystery |
Jenny
is a semi-reformed adult film star, and is currently
beginning a new life, under the Witness Protection
Program. Due to her unknown past, we can only make
assumptions on who or what she is. She looks forward
to returning to school to complete her eighth grade
education, followed by becoming the next American
Idol. She is currently homeless. |
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Outpatient
8
Eyes
on the Street |
Outpatient
8 is an escaped mental patient we picked up hitchhiking
on a dirt road, in Dayton, Ohio. His hobbies include
anarchy, auto asphyxiation, blood sports, and playing
“Tetris” in his mind. He is a former leader
of a little known Cult, strongly believes all children
are damned, and enjoys spending his summers in the
Hamptons with family and friends. In addition, he
is the “self proclaimed” creator of the
Number 2 pencil. |
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BW
Director
of Liberal Bias |
BW
is a recently released, convicted felon. He was charged
with multiple counts of narcotic possession after
an unexpected cavity search revealed a vast assortment
of illegal substances in his ass. Currently out on
parole, BW plans to spend his free time writing, doing
bong hits, masturbating to scrambled Cinemax porn,
and scrap booking. He is the best selling author of
several cookbooks including "Lite Recipes for
the Healthy Inmate: Tossed Salads Everyone Can Enjoy".
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MS
Master
of Intrigue |
MS
is a thirty-year-old college student. He has been
attending school, and has remained a member of a well-respected
fraternity, for nearly twelve years. His likes include
beer, parties, and underage girls. In the next year,
he sees himself finally getting that two-year degree,
joining A.A., and looking into the purchase of a Mail
Order Bride. His heroes are Ron Jeremy and Jonny O. |
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