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Don't Change That Channel You Magnificent Bastard!
Apocalypse Countdown:
24th of August, Year of our Lord 2005

What up sluts!? I'm currently on my yearly 5 week vacation sipping warm whiskey from a chalice made of the purest gold, but I still have some more news to throw at ya!

Bush hunting for the real killer...
It’s about time he had some days off…

After over 4 years of siphoning off all world sympathy for America, lining the pockets of the filthy rich, and creating unnecessary wars to impress his father, good old GW needs a bit of quiet time. I mean, seriously, didn’t FDR take like 5 weeks off during the Normandy invasion? I think JFK was poolside for the Bay of Pigs!

I work my ass off and don’t get more than 2 weeks off total all year! This guy is the goddamn president! I understand he needs time off, but the first time he took off in 2001, the memo that happened to mention 9/11, was brushed off as he and Dick Cheney sipped brandy all day and Dick made an awkward pass at GW.

The Bush twins: I don't think they're spoiled.
George’s peace has been rudely interrupted by know-it-all peacenik, Cindy Sheehan. The right wing media has been viciously attacking Sheehan for reasons that seem unclear to me. I mean, her son died in Iraq and she wants to talk to Bush about it. This IS America you know! Pulpits from the right have been hurling invectives at the traitorous Sheehan, for daring to break rank! She’s a plant from the left wing to raise anti-war sentiment! She’s just a dumb housewife! No, she’s a brilliant strategist for the terrorists! She probably never even had a son!

Dear God! These people have no souls and no compassion. As the public wakes up to the awful truth that our government isn’t a protective, loving father figure, but an abusive, alcoholic foster parent that wants to rape our souls and steal our money, Bush’s approval ratings will continue to plummet and he’ll be run out of town with his tail between his legs.

Check out Bush's vacation time against other Presidents


Guerilla Art Takes a New turn…
Underground artist Banksy has been doing his own brand of guerilla warfare, stenciling his politically fueled art in places where it’s not wanted. He’s secretly placed his art in over 3 major art museums in New York City alone. The attention and public adoration that he has generated has led to offers by Nike to use his art in ad campaigns. Banksy flatly refused all offers and remains true to his original purpose of art where you least expect it. Enjoy it while it lasts…

Banksy Gallery

The lovely lady herself!

Yoko doesn’t seem so bad anymore…
What did Kurt Cobain see in Courtney Love? This month on the Comedy Central Pam Anderson Roast, Love appeared fully intoxicated and desperate for any kind of attention. Slurring through her lines and showing her disease ridden privates every chance she could get, she made a complete asshole of herself. Usually, under normal circumstances, I love to see so-called “stars” self-implode on TV, but my
hate for Courtney runs so deep I can’t sit back and enjoy it.

The very picture of dignity...

This is a woman that after her husband committed suicide, she had t-shirts printed up with a copy of his suicide note!! She’s worse than ten Yokos!! Kurt Cobain wrote the first Hole album and Billy Korgan wrote the next one. She fucks for her songs. My only question is, who is desperate enough to want the thousands of STDs and pubic lice that a night with her entails?

She is a talentless coke whore and yet she still thinks she’s important, because she sucked Kurt Cobain’s dick. I mean seriously, she talks about herself like she is the reason punk rock exists. If she would only fade out of the spotlight…

Click here to watch the roast!

That's it for this week! Don't forget to keep it fast and loose or tight and wet, nothing in between!

Jonny O