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Don't Change That Channel You Magnificent Bastard!
Apocalypse Countdown:
13th of July, Year of our Lord 2005

The house of cards starts to fall...
Pigfaced asshole Karl Rove has recently been implicated in the information leak that outed CIA agent Valerie Plame. The leak was a retaliation against Plame's husband Joseph Wilson, who had written an op-ed piece discrediting the Bush administration's claim that Hussein had attempted to buy uranium in Niger.

Rove is known for his "no-holds-barred" style of political strategy, and this one is absolute fucking bullshit. The same talking heads denouncing Democrats for being "soft" on terror and not following through on national security are releasing sensitive information and jeopardizing anti-terrorist CIA agents that are in the field. War is Peace big brother.

The press corps has finally gotten some balls and started grilling the White House about the new allegations implicating Rove. On the 11th, White House Press Secretary Scott McLelland was visibly flustered as he was bombarded by questions about Rove's role in the affair and Bush's comments months earlier that anyone in the administration that was found to be involved would be dismissed.

Is this a turning point for the press? Somehow I doubt it... but the Bush administration is on borrowed time. Lies have a way of catching up to you. "Mission Accomplished."
Read the Offical Press Conference Transcript Here
(if you have trouble with this link, just refresh your browser!)

Thompson to be launched into the stratosphere...
A fitting tribute to one of the greatest writers of our time, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson is coming up. We all lost the last voice from the edge when he shot himself earlier this year.

A volatile personality that brought admiration from those in his circle and grudging respect from his adversaries, Thompson's life made an indelible mark on American culture. Every man should have his last wishes honored and I respect Thompson's family and Depp for heeding them.

If all goes as planned, on Aug. 20, Hunter S. Thompson's ashes will be shot out of a cannon installed on a 150-high-tower near his Woody Creek, Colo., home. It's part of a private tribute being planned by the writer's family and friends, including Johnny Depp. "He was a great pal, one of my best friends. We had talked a couple of times about his last wishes to be shot out of a cannon of his own design," Depp, who has hired an events planner to oversee the tribute, said in a recent interview. "All I'm doing is trying to make sure his last wish comes true. I just want to send my pal out the way he wants to go out." (AP Television News)
Read the full article

There but for the grace of God go I...
Okay, I am absolutely fucking amazed by this shit. It is so fascinating to me I can't believe it. Maybe it's the morbid curiosity, I don't know. If you've got tall people... show me the tallest! If you've got fat people... show me the fattest in the world!

Recently, a morbidly obese woman had gotten so fat and indolent that her skin literally fused to her sofa!! Dear God! How do you let this happen? I mean, seriously, one day she decided "You know what, I don't feel like getting up to piss, I'll just piss in this here bucket!" Her husband/boyfriend or whatever actually took care of her!! I don't know about you, but if anyone in my family laid on the sofa all day eating... and shit in a bucket, there is no way I was going to encourage that habit.

Alright, I am presenting you with "The 900 Club". This is no fancy shmancy country club. No, you need to be 900 lbs to get in and the only way out is on a fork lift!!
You know you want to... just click it!!

That's all for me for now. Don't worry... from now on, the only people you need to get your news from are me and your bartender. Raise a glass and make a toast, because we have front row seats to the end of civilization!

Jonny O