Big Brother
 Wine and Spirits
 Keeping it Reel
 White Noise
 Fist Deep
 Bar Crawl

Don't Change That Channel You Magnificent Bastard!
Apocalypse Countdown:
17th of February, Year of our Lord 2006

What's up motherfuckers! It's been awhile since I scorched your cortex and soon you'll learn what it's like to be on the business end of a mental flamethrower. People are stupider than ever and everything is going to shit! Lets watch...

The ghastly visage of the current US Vice President

Don't fuck with the Penguin…
This past weekend, good old Dick Cheney, aka the Penguin, punished an insubordinate underling on a hunting trip. When the 78 year old lawyer rebuked Cheney's awkward sexual advances, things turned ugly. After taking a long pull from his bottle of Wild Turkey, Dick blasted his companion with a shotgun. Luckily no one was killed.

The White House withheld the news of this event for almost 24 hours, raising questions about Cheney's sobriety at the time. It is almost impossible to imagine that the American people haven't woken up to the utter corruption and lack of moral compass of the current White House administration. The Goddamned vice president is fucking shooting people!! What's next? Do we need to see Bush run over a box of puppies with a riding mower?

Cheney at a recent White House benefit

In related news, this incident puts Cheney near the top of the "most unlikeable people of all time" list, along with Bill O'Reilly, Maury Povich and Barry Bonds.







These people look like they smell.

What a waste of fucking energy…
Talk about no sense of humor! Those zany arabs are at it again! A recent publication of several cartoon "strips" have caused quite a stir on the arab street. The cartoons portrayed some guy named Mohammed (I think he works at the Seven-Eleven down the street) in a less than flattering way.

The people of the Middle East responded in their typical levelheaded manner, they proceeded to riot and trample one another to death over a fucking cartoon. Also, they have placed death threats and offered money to people to assassinate anyone remotely involved in creating or printing the cartoons. That's right I said cartoons.

Who can blame them. I felt the same way when Kathy tried on a bathing suit and screamed "There is no God!" as weird sweat / tear things flew out of her eyes, and who can forget the uproar over the Garfield gay marriage / beastiality Sunday special.

Spreadin' it for the infidels

Bin Ladin's niece is a whore…
Osama Bin Ladin has a niece who wants to be a model! Her Uncle is Osama. That is really fucked up. Can you even imagine being related to someone like that? I'm sure her career will really take off. I hear she's doing a shoot for a new line of bomb accessories. I'm sure Uncle Osama blew a turbin when he heard about her new career.



More on Ms. Bin Ladin





Hobbits are real...
A recent discovery in Indonesia has unearthed a new creature that strongly resembles a hobbit. The miniature "people" were about 3 feet tall and hunted little pigs on the island.

The discovery sparked the imagination of many with the possibility of some sick, twisted fantasy come to life.

Read more about it...

Contrary to popular belief, hobbits are fucking gay as shit.


That wraps up another day in this wonderful toilet we call civilization. Remember: Life is a shit sandwich... the more bread you got the less shit you gotta eat!

Jonny O