Bad News Bears
The only thing I could think about while waiting for this
movie to start
was Billy Bob Thornton fucking a dog when he was seventeen.
As the movie
began, I wondered if that dog was better than Angelina
Jolie or Halle
Berry.
Bad
News Bears is a bad film. The kids tried way too hard
and in this day
and age the word "Damn" coming from a kids mouth
seems normal. In the
original movie ... those kids were bastards. In this movie
... they are
trying to be bastards. It just doesn't work. So, instead
of tearing this
film to shit as I do with shit ... I have opted to give
each little ass
hat a dose of shit.
So,
stand back. Cause the shit doth flingith.
The
Little Crippled Kid: I could give less than a
rats ass that this kid can't walk. Fuck him. He whines
a bit too much about it and deserves to have his ass beat.
(Note: If you hit him, be sure it is above the waist,
because chances are he won't feel it if you hit him below
the waist.)
The
Motorcycle Kid: This kid looks like he is on
Xanax. He rides a cycle like a retard. About the only
thing this kid can do is hit the ball. Big fucking deal.
Learn to fucking act, ass clown, before I take a baseball
bat and ram it down your fucking thoat.
The
Chick Pitcher: Fucking dunce bitch needs to lose
weight from her fat lip. This chick ... why they hired
this bitch to play this part is beyond me. If you read
this, and you saw the film, then you know what the fuck
I am talking about. Maybe I am harsh, but someone should
really punch her in her upper lip so it matches the bloat
of her lower lip.
The
Blonde Haired Little Slugger Kid: Fuck him. Although,
it would be fun to scalp him and watch him bleed. Yea,
let's see how bad he is with no skin on his skull. Little
fucking panzy ass.
Billy
Bob: I can't say anything bad about this dog
fucker. On screen he shines.
Greg
Kinnear: Another fine performance by this man.
Fuck him, anyway. He ain't never admitted to fucking a
dog.
If
you haven't seen this film, don't. Basically, this film
would have been better if all the kids in it had been
aborted. Although I do give it props for giving me fodder
to write this shit.
tss
Entrepreneur Extraordinaire
serious fix Productions
http://seriousfix.com/comedy/
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