ALONE IN THE DARK
Directed By: Uwe Boll (House of the Dead)
Writers: Michael Roesch (House of the Dead)
Elan Mastai (MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate)
Producer(s): Uwe Boll
Rating: 2 (1= butt juice, 10= Usual Suspects)
Uwe Boll, Michael Roesch, and Elan Masrai need to be stopped. I don't
know where they get their money.
My wife wanted to see this travesty because it had Slater and Dorf in
it. Both of those guys make her gooey. So I said "Ahh, what the hell?"
Well, she has lost movie picking privileges for a long fucking time.
This movie sucked so bad I was pissed at it!
The most disappointing aspect of this pile of hamster vomit movie, is
that Christian Slater stars in it. I don't know, maybe he needed the cash.
Maybe he was just bored. Maybe the Devil is cashing in his chips. Who
knows? Who cares? Do your brain a favor and stay the hell away from
this flick. Stay away from anything that has Boll, Roesch, or Masrai
in the credits.
This movie got a rating of 2 due to its effects. That's it. Even they
where not the best.
May 15th, 2005