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Alone in the Dark



ALONE IN THE DARK
2005

Christian Slater
Stephen Dorf
Tara Reid

Directed By: Uwe Boll (House of the Dead)
Writers: Michael Roesch (House of the Dead)
   Elan Mastai (MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate)
Producer(s): Uwe Boll
  Michael Roesch

Rating: 2 (1= butt juice, 10= Usual Suspects)

Uwe Boll, Michael Roesch, and Elan Masrai need to be stopped. I don't know where they get their money.

My wife wanted to see this travesty because it had Slater and Dorf in it. Both of those guys make her gooey. So I said "Ahh, what the hell?" Well, she has lost movie picking privileges for a long fucking time. This movie sucked so bad I was pissed at it!

The most disappointing aspect of this pile of hamster vomit movie, is that Christian Slater stars in it. I don't know, maybe he needed the cash. Maybe he was just bored. Maybe the Devil is cashing in his chips. Who knows? Who cares? Do your brain a favor and stay the hell away from this flick. Stay away from anything that has Boll, Roesch, or Masrai in the credits.

This movie got a rating of 2 due to its effects. That's it. Even they where not the best.

Outpatient 8
May 15th, 2005