Editors
Note: Due to lack of funding and initiative, Defining
Moment Online has been forced to take advertising dollars
to quench its staff's unending thirst for top shelf bourbon,
fine cigars, and strong drugs. We, however, will only accept
ads from clients of the highest caliber and who we feel
speak to the interests of our typical reader, as you will
see from the following advertisement. Yes... we sold out.
If you have a problem with that then you can go fuck yourself.
You
are invited to the grand opening of THE KNOTTED
BALLOON!
Your
one stop shop for all things anal! Impress your friends!
Wow your enemies! Abuse your pets!!
You
don't need to shop anywhere else but here!
We
carry brand name buttplugs and designer ass lube! Great
for all occasions. Always wanted anal beads shaped liked
your favorite cartoon character? We carry the entire Garfield
and Mickey Mouse line!!!
Here
are some comments from our valued customers:
"I
used to suffer from constant rectal bleeding due to my
self mutilating habit of shoving things up my ass. Then
I bought some lube at THE KNOTTED BALLOON
and not only was it affordably priced... it tastes fucking
awesome!!"
- Theodore Danson
"Being
a woman, it can be somewhat intimidating walking into
an ass sex store to buy a full size fisting dildo. The
staff at THE KNOTTED BALLOON knew their
stuff and made me feel comfortable... that is until I
tried out my new purchase!!!"
- Renee Zellweger
Don't
forget to buy all your anal necessities at... THE
KNOTTED BALLOON!!!
This
coupon is valid for 20% off all anal beads.
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